


Eyes Wide Closed

by its_not_a_thing



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 09:51:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6234013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/its_not_a_thing/pseuds/its_not_a_thing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stydia Au where Stiles and Lydia are Married and have a daughter, but Stiles isn't around for reasons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eyes Wide Closed

Lydia missed him. She missed the way his, then, long hair would be flatted out with his peaceful night’s sleep. Or the way it would stand at strange angles when he tugged at it with more nerves then he would admit. She missed waking up in his arms, feeling the slow rumble of his chest against her cheek, his body an invitation to hide from the still cool morning air surrounding them, the sun not yet shining onto his beautiful face. And his face. She could stare at it all day, the way his cheekbones caught the light, and the way his lips curled up into a smile when he looked at her like she was crazy. But his voice. The deep rumble coming from within him that rattled with a laugh more often than not, and the way his voice went a few octaves higher when he was upset or something was bothering him. The gentle whispers in her ear, the way he said he name when they were watching television, just because he liked the sound of it on his lips. That’s what she missed the most.

But now the bed was empty, the room too quiet as she willed herself out of bed. The silent pattering of her feet too loud without him there. It was early morning, the rooster hadn’t sung, which meant her daughter, their daughter, was not awake yet. Despite being four years old, she tended to sleep in like a teenager. Claudia was a lot like her father, the same sleeping habit, wide-eyed gaze and rosy hint to their pale skin when they got to warm or flustered or excited.

Claudia still remembered him, her father. Sometimes Lydia thought that her daughter missed the man more than her, but she knew Claudia didn’t have trouble sleeping in a too large bed without her father there. Claudia would mention her father every day to Lydia, in passing, without even noticing how her mother’s eyes softened at the mention of ‘Daddy’ and the things that reminded the child of him.

Lydia tried to wash away the aching memories with a warm shower as she saw the sky from the window turn from a cool blue to warm oranges and reds similar to those of her first date with her husband. They had been friends for a while; her sneaking glances at his warm brown eyes, him smiling coyly with a hint of smugness at her before looking away. When he’d asked her out, she’d almost jumped at the chance, blushing since they’d known each other for years. He drove them to the beach a few miles from their university in Connecticut, he’d planned a picnic and everything, but what he’d failed to plan was the particularly cold weather on that September afternoon. They sat in the back of his truck holding blankets around themselves, sipping cold cocoa and watching the sunset. It hadn’t been perfect, but she wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

The warm memories washed away as the sun turned bright in her eyes and the water turned icy in the blink of an eye. She quickly decided to jump out of the shower and get herself ready for the day. That Saturday morning she was feeling particularly sluggish, but she knew she couldn’t afford to. An inch of sadness on her face would send her daughter into a fit of questions Lydia just couldn’t answer. Lydia got dressed in her usual Saturday attire, a sundress and some boots, which Stiles hated from the moment she bought them, but she wore them anyway. The chill of fall was settling in and she quite enjoyed the way the shivers prickled at her skin, making a million hills arise on her skin, like all those nights she’d spent with her husband.

  
Lydia decided not to wake her daughter up for a while, knowing they had a long day at the family picnic, and her beautiful Claudia would need all the rest she could get. She started working on her husband’s favorite cheesy chicken salad sandwiches. They had always been a hit at parties, but there was something about them that he just couldn’t get enough of. It was probably the cheese. He’d always loved cheese, the way it goeed and melted in all the right ways to make his mouth water and eyes shine. There wasn’t much that would make his eyes shine the way those sandwiches did, despite his playful nature.

This brought Lydia back to the first time he’d tried them, they’d been on a picnic in her childhood living room, since they’d gotten rained in on that warm march day. It had been the day he proposed to her. She still remembered what he’s said to her so starkly in her mind, as if he was standing beside her saying it now. “I love these cheesy chicken sandwiches almost as much as I love you. Good thing I would marry them too…” And then he got down on one knee and pulled out a small ring that was so unique, yet she couldn’t have imagined anything more perfect for them. She’d cried more than she’d cared to admit that day. Most people wouldn’t find that romantic, but it was so Stiles that she didn’t even seem to care. Because it was perfect for them. Even now, Lydia would find herself sneaking glances at the ring, as if it would shine the way his eyes did. It never did.

Lydia continued to make and pack the sandwiches up in the basket, a soft smile on her face as the warm memories of Stiles flooded her. Even thinking his name made her smile wider.

“Mommy, Why are you smiling like that? If it because of Daddy’s favorite sandywiches?” Lydia looked up and found Claudia staring up at her with the same soft brown eyes she missed more than anything, mischievous glimmer and all. Lydia chuckled at her daughters cute mispronunciation, remembering when she’d first said it, how it had made her husband so happy she wouldn’t dare correct it in front of Claudia. They’d later gotten into a heated argument about it, until finally he won, using the cursed word against her. Lydia walked up to her daughter, picking her up and resting her on her hip like she had for years. “Yep. I know they’re your favorite too sweetie. But right now we gotta get you in the tub!”

  
Claudia squealed at that, she loved bubble baths and the way her dad would make his hair into funny shapes for her. Lydia couldn’t quite make them as fun, but she tried her best while he was gone. Once the bath filled with bubbles and laughs and rubber duckies was over, Lydia dressed her daughter in an outfit matching her own. The shade of blue making her eyes shine brighter, and Lydia didn’t know if this was possible. And then she thought of her wedding.

Stiles had worn a tie that exact same shade, which Lydia had picked out. It made his eyes shine and pop in ways Lydia didn’t even think was possible. She remembered walking towards him, so excited, wanting to walk faster, even sprint to get to him. To be his wife that much sooner. But she contained her excitement, as best she could. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling so wide her face hurt, or blushing when she saw his bashful eyes look at her like she was the only person on the planet. Their handwritten vows were whispered amongst each other in their own personal heaven and infinity, more tears were shed that day between the two of them than the entire audience they forgot they had. After the ceremony, they’d sat closer than most guests thought humanly possible, not letting go of each other for one moment. Because they felt complete, whole. When they danced, the world stopped and it was just the two of them.

Claudia’s giddy screams and tugs at Lydia’s dress brought her back to the present. “Mommy! Uncle Scott is here! We gotta go!” Lydia chuckled and picked Claudia up. “Claudia, calm down! I gotta grab the sandywiches!” Lydia chuckled when she hear Claudia laugh and quickly grabbed the sandwiches before heading out to Scott’s car. Scott was Stiles’s step-brother, and best friend, and he was picking Lydia because her car was in the shop, and Scott always had a car seat for Claudia.

“Dia! Haven’t you grown since I saw you last week?” Scott smiled at the little girl picking her up and buckling her into the car seat. “How old are you again? 40?”

“I’m four uncle Scotty!” Claudia giggled and kissed his cheek before looking out the window. She had this fascination with the outdoors that Lydia could never understand, except for the fact that Stiles had it too. They always played outside, in the pool, on the swings. It was their thing. Lydia jumped in the front seat and smiled over at Scott. “Thanks again for the ride…”

Scott flashed his smile that reminded her too much of Stiles, before saying “Anytime! You’re on the way to mom and Dad’s house anyway!” The rest of the drive was silent, except for Claudia’s occasional mumble about a bird or a tree. Stiles was really close to Scott, and Lydia and Scott got along just fine, but the lingering weight of Stiles’s absence was always a conversation killer between the two.

Once they arrived, Lydia pulled Claudia out of the car and into the house, whilst Scott carried the sandwiches. Walking into the house without him was like getting hit by a truck. Everything there reminded her of him, the color of the walls, the smell of the carpet the pictures on the table. She skimmed the pictures on the table like she always did, smiling at the memories that came up. The first time she’d met his parents, when they told them they were engaged, when they told them Lydia was pregnant, the day Claudia was born.

The day Claudia was born was sort of unexpected. Lydia had only been 8 months pregnant when they’d gone over to Stiles’s parents to have their usual picnic. But because Lydia was so pregnant, she hadn’t made her usual cheesy chicken sandwiches, instead they’d ordered Chinese food, which for some reason Lydia had been craving a lot during the pregnancy despite hating it normally. When it arrived, Lydia ate a few bites and as she got up to get something to drink and her water broke. She remembered the way Stiles had freaked out, running around looking for the emergency hospital bag they kept at his parents house. He was telling everyone not to panic with a clear look of panic in his eyes and it made Lydia laugh with tears in her eyes. When they’d gotten to the hospital, with Scott driving the car as Stiles helped Lydia through the contraction, the 17-hour labor went very smoothly. The look on Stiles’s face, the way his eyes glowed when he saw his daughter was the best moment in Lydia’s life. She wished she could bottle that moment up and keep it forever. Because it was indescribably perfect, the way Stiles’s eyes matched those of their newborn daughter, and how he cried when she held his finger. It didn’t even matter that neither of them slept for the next couple months or that it took them 2 months to name their daughter, because they were happy. And that’s all that mattered. But he was gone now.

Lydia tried to push the memory away as she spoke to her mother-in-law with as much cheer as she could as she watched her father-in-law and Scott play with Claudia in the yard, playing tag. It really was adorable, the way she laughed, she lit up a room. She was the one that got that family through Stiles being gone. It had been so sudden, one minute he was waking up next to Lydia, drinking beers with his dad and Scott, and the next he was being shipped off to some war that we didn’t even need to be fighting. Lydia remembered when he got the letter, saying he’d been enlisted and needed to be at base within a week of receiving the letter. She remembered the way the shine faded from his eyes and he sat silently reading over the words until they didn’t make sense. Lydia remembered being so worried she left dinner cooking as she went to him, trying to help him, only to start crying too. Within a blink of an eye, he’d packed his bags and left.

Lydia and Claudia wrote him letters every week, sending him pictures, and he wrote back sending pictures of his buzzed hair, with a smile that didn’t quite reach those warm brown eyes she loved so much. But Lydia knew he hated missing out, watching his daughter grow from afar, a hole in their family where he used to be, where he should have been. In every letter, she kept counting back the days until she could see him again, when he’d be back to them for good. But she knew it was all tricks, lies to keep her hopeful because she didn’t know. She didn’t know when or even if he’d come back to her.

When her mother-in-law asked what Stiles’s last letter said, Lydia smiled and told her a few small lies, the usual, but she didn’t want to worry anyone. It had been three weeks since the last letter, which had her scared to death. She didn’t know how he was, if he was okay or even alive. She was trying not to think the worst but that’s what kept clouding over her like inevitable doom. She just needed to know, because this unknowing abyss was driving her insane.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Lydia used this as an excuse to remove herself from the conversation with her mother-in-law and went to answer it. What she saw made tears spring to her eyes. In front of her was Stiles, looking slightly slimmer than usual, his hair starting to grow back the way she loved, his eyes gleaming when he saw her, standing out against the dull green of his uniform. Lydia fell to the floor in disbelief, knees bracing the ground because she couldn’t believe he was here again. Stiles gently set his backpack down and kneeled down to her and held her tight. Lydia gripped him, scared he would disintegrate before her very eyes, not yet ready for him to leave just yet. It hadn’t dawned on her that he was here, that he was back to her until he spoke gently in her ear with a promise he probably couldn’t keep. “I’m never leaving again.”


End file.
